A day in the life of Mr Vince Obermaan

<voiceoverman>As our normal correspondent is either drunk, in a hedge, drunk in a hedge, asleep or asleep in a hedge, I thought I would take a moment to tell you about myself, how I spend my days and why I do voiceovers for the idiot.</voiceoverman>

My name’s Vince, I used spend most of my day either enjoying a playboy lifestyle, or working out with my team of personal trainers and doing some charity work in the local community. I try to help out as much as I can with the less fortunate, which cunningly brings me to my work with Beersoft Interactive.

You know when your mums said don’t talk to strangers, well if anyone says to you “you look nice, want to see some sweeties?” don’t let your thought process go ‘he didn’t say “would you like to see some kittens” or “if you get in my car you can have this big bag of coke”’, the whole ‘show you sweeties’ thing is a Polaroid of pic-n-mix with “you’re my wife now, Dave” written on the back. It’s a classic trap, and if I had spent more time reading spy novels from my local library instead of the charity work I don’t like to talk about; I wouldn’t be in this situation.

But what a situation to be in; ‘the fearless leader’ isn’t an unkind overlord as they go. I get fresh shredded newspapers 3 times a week for the cage he keeps me in. It’s quite a nice cage, I will ask him why it says “hoffcage 2005” on the sign above it. He lets me sing show tunes at the children in the street on weekdays as long as I do the voice over work here.

Ohh bugger, I think he’s sobering up. I best get out of his dancing speedo’s and back into the cupboard, if anyone asks I wasn’t here and no one saw us.